Last Day of School Reflection and Goodness

I never thought I'd be one of those Mom's that would cry with anything related to the first day of school or especially the last day of school. I'm just not quite that way. But then again, I never thought I'd have a special needs child now did I? :-) So yesterday was the last day of school, and the last day of a 4 year stint at the same "wee school" for Zachary. It's on to a new school and a new phase in his life next.

I wasn't thinking emotionally at all when I went to pick him up. It was like any other carpool day. He walked out to the car with his teacher like normal. There were two other kids from his class with her - who happened to be his best buds Emily and Liam. We were all saying our goodbye's and Zach went to give his friends and teacher hugs. Emily said that she'd see him over the summer because she told her mommy that she wanted him to come over and play. Liam said that he wanted to go to the playground with Zach this summer too. It was an excited goodbye. Zach got in the car. I shut the door, and we were off. Nothing too emotional. As I'm pulling out, I notice a note in Zach's school bag. It read:

"To Zachary's Mom,
I know Kai has enjoyed playing with Zachary so much this year that I wanted to give you our phone number in case we can get the boys together over the summer. We hope to see you both.
Carissa and Kai (and a phone number, of course!)"

Okay, that did it. Queue the tears.

Kai is a kid in another class that played on the playground at the same time as Zachary's class. Like Liam and Emily, Kai is also a very "typical" child who has obviously taken a liking to Zach, for his mother to send a note requesting a play date. This moves me beyond words. I'll struggle here to explain... Not only did these three amazing kids make ALL the difference in a successful school year for Zach, but they have given us as parents the hope that we needed. They've shown us that Zach can fit in, and be liked even! Too many other times in our routine play groups I see Zach shunned. And he's getting to an age that I can tell he's aware of it. He turns "off", or goes off by himself. And it kills me to watch. So when he's at school, and I can't even see for myself what's going on, all I can do is pray for little Emily's, Liam's and Kai's to come along and accept him. And thankfully these kids are out there. And thankfully, thankfully, thankfully, Zach is WANTING to be liked and to have friends and to be a part of things. All very UNcommon with autism.

So it was an emotional last day of school for sure. Four years that I can quickly sum up:
The 1st Year: Innocence and excitement - but noticing a little "strangeness" in him when comparing him to his peers for the first time
The 2nd Year: We'll just call this "The Diagnosis Year" and leave it as an understood that it was basically and emotional, scrambling, researching, praying and all in all hellacious year
The 3rd Year: Hoping he'll survive in a typical environment, praying for progress
The 4th Year: Success on his own in a typical classroom with no aide or special attention of any kind for the first time since The 1st Year. REAL friends and TRUE successes!

How could I not cry when looking back at that and really, truly grasping our journey these last four years? I hope to never, ever go through anything like that again. But I can't say enough how much I respect and treasure every word and action from my son like I would have never done had it not been for these years...