Excuse Me While I Rant....

An article on the cover of last week's Newsweek has sparked a lot of commentary in the Autism chat room and blog world this weekend. And it has sparked a lot of thought in me as well. The article is really talking about what happens to our Autistic children as they grow into adults. There is little to no support out there for Autistic adults. And everything developed, funded for, talked about, researched, etc is all about diagnosing children and/or finding the right treatments for children. While I feel that we DEFINITELY need to put the bulk of all this funding for research (what little there is!!) into better understanding what causes Autism in the first place.... I do think that the future of our children needs to be looked at more than it is. There needs to be better programs for job assistance in place. Assisted living plans, extended education (not college) etc. There are tons of things that adults that are not able to be self-sufficient will need help with. I don't even want to think that through very clearly, as I pray that will not be Zachary. But we don't know that at this point. The point is that all of the focus is on children right now.

And in talking about Autistic adults... Where are all the Autistic adults???? Chances are everyone knows someone with Autism. Or someone who knows someone with Autism. And the chances are even greater that that "someone with autism" is about 10 or under. Maybe 15 or under. But not 40. Or 50. Where are all the Autistic adults? Surely they're out there!!! This only leads me to believe that we possibly don't have an epidemic on our hands, but rather a better method of identifying the symptoms and traits of Autistic individuals than they did 20+ years ago. So now kids don't get passed off as a little different, or just odd, or a slow talker anymore - they are quickly given a label, a formal diagnosis. Is this good? Maybe. With the diagnosis you can get services through the county. It scares us into doing more than we possibly would have for our children if they didn't have the diagnosis.

But the adults out there now that were not diagnosed as Autistic 30 years ago... where are they? Most likely they are the shy, quiet computer programmers, or accountants, or maybe the public park groundskeeper (a nice private, quiet job) The point is that since we don't have/know an abundance of Autistic adults, like we do children, but we know that they've got to be out there - then this really tells us that they are blended into society and doing fine. And if that's the case, why are parents today spending thousands and thousands of dollars on therapies, schools, some on medications or special diets, for our kids? Because we are desperate for a way to make our child blend in in the future - to be the best they can possibly be - to bring out absolutely everything the child is capable of, to give them the best jump start possible - and to hopefully protect them from the cruel world by taking their Autism away. Is that even possible? Not sure. But I do have to wonder about all the "autistic adults" out there today...

Just some Sunday food for thought!

Is this autism or not?

Sometimes it is very, very hard to distinguish between what behavioral characteristics are the "Autistic Zach's" and what are the "normal 3 year old Zach's" It's always a guessing game. But we catch ourselves trying too quickly sometimes to validate some of his behaviors as "part of why he's autistic" and not giving credit where credit is due in that he IS an almost 4 year old BOY with natural curiosities and a built-in will to test his limits. That's what this age is all about right? But is he right on target, or a little over the edge with his actions? Who knows. It's very hard to try and correct things with him, or to try and explain anything abstract (Zach - it's going to hurt his feelings if you take that toy from him again) because he can't see and really "get" what we mean. But then again, he can learn that he shouldn't be doing something regardless of whether or not he does "get" it. So do we use autism as a crutch sometimes? Innocently, just not knowing. It's tough.

I'm referring to a few recent examples:

Zach is in two schools as I've mentioned previously. One is for Special Needs children and it's through the county system. The other is a "typical" classroom with kids his age all of which are "normal". I created a little form for the typical class teacher to fill out for me each week so that I can know exactly what is going on with him in that classroom, as I obviously can't be there to see for myself. I want to know what he's doing good at, what he needs help with, and then most importantly are the few blank lines for them to write whatever they want. It is usually very pleasant things; Zachary is really smart, or he is a joy to have in the class, etc. Well this past week the note said "Zachary is having a hard time listening. He will only come in from the playground when we go and get him." SO... is this typical for his age? Probably. But should he be giving in to authority more often and willingly? Who knows - I've not had another child that age before to compare.

Then today, he wanted a snack so I opened the pantry for us to decide on what he wants. He picked out the one box of crackers that he can't have (they are VERY spicy). So when I tell him no, he loses it. I mean meltdown city. Okay, so that's pretty normal and age appropriate I'd guess. So I try to move on and find something else that peaks his interest. I find a similar cracker, just without the spice. He freaks out because it's not the exact same box that he wanted before. So I have to pull a major trick over on him making him think I did in fact pour a cup full of the other crackers when in fact he got the ones he didn't want. And you know what - he was totally fine with it. Didn't notice the difference and ate every one of them. So it was totally that he wanted to get his way. And as far as he knows, he did in fact win that round.

I just feel like we have a lot of manipulation to go through every day with him to make him think that things are one way when they aren't. That probably doesn't make sense. Sorry. I guess the point of this whole post is just simply, it's hard to separate the autism from the boy and to find the right way to take action to improve his "bad" behaviors.

Halloween Success!

Well Halloween night was a smashing success!!! Zachary seriously had the time of his life! It took a few houses for him to understand the whole process, but that's to be expected. He didn't ever quite get the whole say "trick-or-treat" first, then say "thank you" after they give you candy thing. He'd often reverse the two, or leave one out altogether - but who cares! We'll get that down next year. What matters this year was that he was so excited, so in to it all, loving his candy, having fun and not wanting to stop, talking about other costumes that we saw, running from door to door - in other words - for that one hour and 15 minutes, he was just like every other kid. And that felt damn good!