Halloween Eve Excitement!

As we get ready for Halloween, I thankfully enjoy the anticipation of how much fun we will have as a family tomorrow night when we go trick-or-treating. I think that Zach does understand it this year - kinda. He understands that he will carry a pumpkin basket around and that it's called trick-or-treating, and that he will get candy. Aside from that, he doesn't understand the rest (like where the candy will come from, why he'll be going to houses, but not going inside, what all this costume stuff is all about, etc, etc) He won't "get" all that, but he'll be excited all the same just to get candy! And that's good enough for us! And we are excited! However, I just ran across this little blurb on another blog, and thought it was so true. I wanted to post it for the few fellow special needs parents that read this, and for others to see the zillions of hoops we parents jump through on any given day.

I realize that as parents of children with special needs, we’re often the ones having to wear the costumes. And not only on Halloween, but every day. From the smiles we paint on our faces to the stiff upper lips we rubber cement onto our chins. As our children grow, we become the people they need us to be, to enable them to be who they are. We become superheroes...fighting for our children’s rights. Lions and lionesses...protecting our defenseless cubs. And cartoon characters...getting the proverbial anvil dropped on our heads only to rise the next day and start all over again. We morph into oak trees...solid, not budging from our positions. Wizards...looking for the universal magic wand to manifest the impossible. And knights in armor...battling the unjust judgments and criticisms of those around us. We can appear to be aliens...with families unlike most of our neighbors. And founding fathers...striving to create something better for our children. We are athletes...still reaching when nothing is within reach. Builders...laying down strong foundations for our children’s lives. And circus clowns...trying desperately to find the humor in it all. We are survivors...we are innovators...we are the champions for our children who are the greatest champions of all. So go eat some candy this Halloween - you deserve it :-)

This will be a great Halloween - I can feel it! I will post after the big night and let you know how it went, but I just know it's going to be great. When I ask Zach if he wants to go trick-or-treating, he immediately goes and gets his pumpkin basket and asks for candy! HA!

Follow-Up with the Developmental Pediatrician

Today was one of our routine follow-up appointments with the Developmental Pediatrician, that is the doctor that specializes in disabilities and gave Zachary his diagnosis of Autism back in June of 2005. We see him every four months for testing of Zach and such. Zach has consistently over the course of the last year made improvements at each follow-up, so it's always a nice little pat on the back of reassurance that we are doing the right things, and it helps justify all that we have to put Zach through and all the money we're spending as well. So it's usually a very pleasant appointment. And today was no different!

The doctor has switched tests that he uses on Zachary now, as he has pretty much reached age equivalency on the prior test. The new test is a Preschool Language Skills test and it will carry through age 7. It measures both Expressive Skills (what he can say/convey) as well as Receptive Skills (what he understands). Zachary's Receptive Skills have always been much higher than his Expressive Skills. It's his use of language that is our biggest issue, with social skills next in line. Anyway, today he scored a 102, out of an average range of 95-105 for the Receptive Skills test! That put him at a 3 year 10 month age equivalency (he's only 3 years and 8 months old right now!!!) This means that he's understanding what is being said to him and/or asked of him right on target!

Next was the Expressive Skills test. While this wasn't quite as high, it was still impressive. He scored a 96 here. While this doesn't mean that he is anywhere near "average" in his speaking skills, he is able to get across the right answers to most of the test questions via pointing or using the one word label. He got some concepts that are advanced for his age, but yet misses many that he should know at his age. Such as: he knows the difference in a boy and a girl. But when you ask him about his or hers, or she and he - he doesn't know. And then there are things like knowing who has more, sequencing, and the concept of cause and effect. But some of that isn't totally age equivalent yet anyway. So there is obviously tons of room for improvement here, as we of course know since he isn't talking at age appropriate level, but it's still nice as I said before to be able to measure how far he's come at each 4 month appointment span. And then to celebrate his hard work. Our hard work. All the wonderful therapists and teachers hard work.

The doctor said that he wants to stretch the appointment span to 5 months now - which is great news!!! And he reassured us very enthusiastically that he thinks that the entire program that we have in place for Zachary is right-on, and that he is making very encouraging progress. So good to hear.

The Fever Theory

Zachary is finally recovered after battling a very nasty ear infection last week. He has had about 3 of them in the past, but this was by far the worse one to date. He woke up in the middle of the night asking for a band aid for his ear :-( I gave him one, as he was relentless, and he put it right on his ear - it broke my heart. So the next morning was a trip to the doc to find a very swollen ear drum. On the way back from getting the antibiotics, he threw up in the car (always lovely when it's in the car!) After reading all of the info on ear infections, I found that vomiting is common in children who have ear infections. It was just that he'd never done that before with the others, most of which have been double ear infections, and this was only just one ear. But I guess the pain was that bad - poor guy. So he had the fever, the pain, and the overall yuks for a few days. But he's all better now!

My title of this entry comes into play here... I read a while back about someone's theory that has really seemed to prove itself time and time again with Zachary. It goes like this: Immediately following the end of a period of time where a special needs child has a fever, you will see a spike in their learning/attentiveness. I now fully believe this. I thought it was a fluke the first few times, but I swear it happens every single time. His language improves. His eye contact improves. His overall attention span improves. It's magic :-) But in thinking about it further, I do think it may just be possible that those things are occurring because he feels better now that the fever/sickness is gone - and that is making him seem "better". Who knows - all I know is that I hate to wish a fever on my child, but my goodness when we see such great changes in him the few days after the fever is gone, well - it's hard not to like it when he gets sick! (kidding!)

So that's pretty much been the last week+ with us. I am trying very hard to get what Halloween is all about across to him. He's loving all the decorations. He understands pumpkins, ghosts, witches, candy corn, "pretending to be ___", etc - but is definitely still totally in the dark when it comes to the idea and understanding of trick-or-treating. I've got some good books on that though and keep reading them to him, elaborating on what the kids are doing and that candy is fun and good and all that stuff. I think he'll definitely enjoy it, even if he doesn't really understand it or "get" that he's supposed to say trick-or-treat. But you know what - he's going to look so darn cute, he's going to enjoy himself no matter what's going on around him, and it will be a fun night! So if he doesn't fully understand it - we'll try again next year!

And Then The Normal Things...

I have to stop myself along this journey to really see and enjoy the "normal" things that can pass us by in our Autism haze. For example, Zachary really likes stuffed dogs - or "puppy dogs" as he calls them. He has slept with one dog and a blanket with a dog embroidered in it since birth. As he aged and learned the manipulation game (!), his collection of bedtime friends has multiplied numerous times. Aside from Bert and Ernie, a frog, a bunny rabbit, and the original dog - he now has three other canine friends to help him slip off into dreamland.

One night, when the 2nd of the 4 dogs was brought to him as a surprise from Daddy, we asked him what the new doggies name is. He named it "Yo Yo" and we laughed, as the dog was really more of a pillow - flat and round - so Yo Yo fit perfectly. Then we held up the original dog and asked what his name will be now, to which he dubbed him "Jay". So we had Yo Yo and Jay. I recently returned from a trip away bearing the gift of another pillow with a dog stitched into it. When asked what the new doggies name will be he confidently and quickly said "Chuck". And a few days ago #4 entered the bedroom from a collection of stuffed animals he hadn't explored in a while. This new friend was promptly named "X Ray".

And so it is, Jay, Yo Yo, Chuck and X-Ray are Zachary's 4 bedtime friends. It's the cute things like this that make all of the other challenges and hard times easier. We just have to look harder to find them, but they are there!

Focus

One of the major things for us to continue to work on with Zachary is his focus - or rather his inability to focus on a specific task for any length of time. Even if it is a fun task, such a coloring or doing a puzzle, children with special needs tend to not be able to stay interested or focused for more than a minute or so. This has always been the case with Zachary. But we had a breakthrough last week. We were in the driveway playing, riding his bike, etc - enjoying the beautiful cooler weather, and I pulled out the bubbles. He has always been a fan of bubbles, but only for about 2 minutes max then it's on to find something else to do. But this time he surprised me. I couldn't believe when 5 minutes passed by and he was still blowing them, then running and chasing each bubble determined to pop it. We made a game out of it. I chased some then he chased some. Then I was surprised when about 10 minutes had passed and my on-the-go child was STILL interested in bubble fun, still giggling and chasing and laughing and interacting with me. Then 15 minutes. After about 20 minutes we'd milked about all the fun you can have out of the bubble game. What? Did 20 minutes really just pass??? Yes, it did!

For most parents reading this post, you are probably a little dumbfounded at why I would dedicate an entire entry to bubble blowing, or why I'd be so happy to have played with my son and bubbles for 20 minutes. For most parents, 20 minutes of bubbles would bring about complete boredom. But for us - this was HUGE!!! It showed how well his therapists and teachers (and parents!) have been working with him on this. It shows progress. It shows connection with my son. It shows hope that if he can blow bubbles for 20 minutes, maybe he'll someday be able/willing to sit and color for 20 minutes (we're at about 20 seconds right now!). And best of all it shows promise. Promise that things will get better. That as time passes things do improve. And promise brings smiles. And for each minute of those 20 that ticked by and I realized Zachary was still focused - it brought pure exhilaration.

I see the good. I see the changes. I see the possibilities.