A Skipped Anniversary

OH

MY

WORD

I cannot believe it! I just can't!!! I was just telling a friend about how our 3-day diagnosis "event" went for Zach, and then I said that things may have changed in the way the doc does diagnosis' now since it has been over three years since Zach was diagnosed...

Do you see it?

OVER THREE YEARS!!!!

Do you know what that means???

That means that I missed his three year anniversary. That I didn't make a big deal out of it, or even remember it. Sure we moved a few weeks prior, and sure we have busier lives the year than in the years past - but COME ON! To miss his three year AUTISM DIAGNOSIS??? How in the world can a parent forget about something like that?

I'll tell you how...

Because I no longer look at Zach as an autistic kid. I no longer count the months that we've been going at it aggressively in therapy to see exactly how far he's come in a certain time frame. I no longer scan the internet regularly for autism news or read (literally) 15 people's blogs that have kids with autism to compare my son to theirs. I no longer cry every night when I go in to check on him before I go to bed myself, praying over him that he will get better, that he will find words. And I no longer talk, talk, talk about Autism as if it is the only thing in the world to me. And all of that is because of our hard working, smart son who has done what we (and his developmental doc) didn't even think would happen - he started Kindergarten this year FULLY mainstreamed, and is doing just fine thank you! You go boy!

But I look forward to forgetting June 17th, 2009 as well :-)

Day #3 Update

If you haven't read the previous post - read it first.....

I just picked Zach up from school and got my 3 magic wishes:
1 - Same pants on? CHECK!
2 - A happy Zach? CHECK!
3 - Correspondence from his teacher about how the morning went after I left? CHECK!

The first two speak for themselves, and as for the third - I got a very nice note from his teacher updating me (I love her!!!). She writes that he did cry for about 10 minutes after being pried off of me this morning. The Special Ed teacher that isn't really his teacher, but is there to help out or check in on him as needed came into the classroom and was able to distract him. She took him to her classroom briefly just for a quick change of scenery then brought him back to his classroom where he was fine for the rest of the day. She writes that he did great and was very happy. And when I asked him if he made any new friends today, he told me "yes, a boy named Shane that is in my class too." A "typical" boy, mind you :-) YAY! So it looks like all turned out well.

And as for tomorrow morning, he's going to ride in with the neighbor previously mentioned, and get out of her car with his long time friend and they will both walk together to their classrooms, which are right across the hall from each other. It will be both of their first times getting dropped off and not walked in with a parent. I think that he will do fine because I won't be there, but she is prepared to have to walk him in if he refuses like this morning - but I really don't think that will happen since he'll have a buddy with him this time. He's very much a monkey-see-monkey do kid! We'll see....

Kindergarten has Arrived!!!

Or rather Zach has arrived in Kindergarten! Either way you look at it, Monday was the big day and this is the big week! He was very shy and apprehensive towards all of our questioning and discussions with him the week leading up to Kindergarten. We supposed that the nerves were getting to him, although we'd never hear him say that he's nervous or anything of the sort - not sure he knows the words for his emotions. But he did say "scared" at one point, which opened the door for us to tell him about how both Mommy and Daddy also went to Kindergarten, and to describe all the fun things that go on during a day at school there.

Most likely as a direct result of this build-up to the new school year, and combined with the lack of mental stimulation the end of the summer was bringing, Zach had been having many potty slips over the last two weeks. We would explain that he needs to stop doing that or he can't go to Kindergarten/will be made fun of by the other kids/needs to be a big boy - and on and on - all the things we've been saying for yearSSSS now. But it's very serious now, and I think he was starting to get that. Hence the nervousness about starting on the first day. A typical first day Kindergartner of course has lots of anxiety and fear/excitement emotions going on - but add to ALL of that, for a little 5 year old mind, the potty worries on top of it and well, I understand why he was so reluctant to talk with us about it.

Zach will be a car rider this year. Mommy is just not ready for the bus yet :-) And we have a neighbor that we'll be carpooling with, so it will work out well. So the first day of school, Mommy AND Daddy went with him! We walked him in to his classroom, did all the photo and video stuff (of course!) , gave our hugs and kisses and went about our way, leaving him happily situated behind us. It went very well!!! When I picked him up, he was still all about excitement! BUT, he had on his "back up" shorts that is a must for his backpack right now. I asked what happened and he told me that he peed in his pants. Ugh! So that started a whole afternoon and evening of yet more potty discussions. Something we are soooooo tired of! And he must be too. But it worked! Day two - you should have seen the smile on my face at carpool when he came walking to the car with the same shorts on! It's crazy that I care more about that than how his day actually went - but for us, potty success is much more important right now for our 5 1/2 year old than any other daily occurrence.

So that brings us to today... the 3rd day of Kindergarten. He woke up immediately saying that he didn't want to go to Kindergarten anymore. Huh??? No word of this as he fell asleep last night still reeling from the success of the day. He tells me that he's all done with Kindergarten and that he wants to stay home with Mommy and Katie. What??? He "hates" me right now, and frequently tells me that he doesn't want to be with just the girls, but wants to be with boys. He says this often. So I knew immediately that something was up....

...which brings me to the only other issue going on regarding school, other than the potty pressure he's under. He was THRILLED day one when I picked him up to tell me that his friend Parker was in his class! Thrilled I tell ya'. That's all that he would talk about. So I was excited for him too - to already know someone and have a friend? GREAT! So I ask him where he knows Parker from and he tells me "Mrs. Kay's class". Well.... Mrs. Kay is a special ed teacher that he's had for the last 3 school years. So great... Parker is another special needs kiddo too. ***I mean NO DISRESPECT to special needs kids, I just don't want a crutch for Zach in his "mainstreamed" classroom. He obviously and understandably is going to stick to a kid like him socially and that is not at all what he want. At all. SO... Day 2 - I bring it up to his teacher, but found that I really didn't need to. She was already on it day 1 when she noticed them sticking together. They will now be separated when in the classroom together, and I was told that Parker actually leaves the class for about 4 hours of the day every day. He goes to other special needs classes. So this made me feel better that they aren't together all day, and that when they are they can't get lost in each other.

So... Day #2 comes and Zach doesn't have his buddy anymore. I bet it made him sad. And that makes me very sad. And I'll put money of the fact that that's why he doesn't want to go to school anymore. His friend is gone and now he's alone again. And it sucks as a parent. But it's the right thing for him, and for Parker for that matter. Zach will make other friends. He did last year in a totally "typical" classroom. It will take time, but he will just like every other kid in his class.

Now back to today, day #3, and this morning with him not wanting to go to Kindergarten anymore. He would not get out of the car at carpool. Granted, it was our first try at me not walking him in to his class - but I was still shocked. He was prepared for carpool mentally, and it's not like he hasn't done carpool for the last 3 years!!! But he unbuckled and went to the back bench and curled up. And that was that. So I had to get out of the line and go park and walk him in. And then.... the teacher had to PRY him off of me for me to be able to leave. It was awful.

So I sit here more anxious today than any other day this week waiting to go pick him up. Of course the first thing I will care about is what shorts he has on. And the second is what his disposition is. I will immediately look in his backpack to see if his teacher was kind enough to tell me how he did after I left. And then I will try, try, try to get him to talk to me about his day. But that's its own battle.

I thought the first day was going to be the hard one... not the 3rd!!! And who knows what the 4th will bring!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!