I'm Shouting From the Rooftop - Can ya' Hear Me?

This has been a super fantastical, amazingly delicious day! And I'm so happy to finally back up all the praise that I've been giving to Zach on this blog.

First, I went to Zach's school today for a half hour art session. While it was fun being there with him, I was kinda dreading taking Katie in, disrupting my morning without Zach on my hands to get stuff done, and all that. BUT, it turned out to be great! Zach's teacher pulled me aside and praised him endlessly about how smart he is and how well he's doing in her classroom. She said that she is having a problem keeping him challenged these days. She said that for instance, before parents got there this morning they were doing their daily worksheet. She said that Zach finished his, correctly, in under a minute while the other kids had barely started theirs. And that this has been happening frequently as of late. So she has made him a helper to the other kids! She said that she does this not only to occupy him while they are still working, but also because it helps him in talking with and to other kids too. Smart lady. Then she went on to talk about him reading, memorizing things very quickly and so on. I was beaming with pride when I left there!

And THEN, Zach had Speech Therapy this afternoon. When we got there I was telling her about the good report from his teacher. She agreed with it all saying that she's been seeing great advancements from him lately as well. Then she said.... drum roll please.... that she was going to talk to me anyway about dropping one of his weekly sessions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Huh? My jaw dropped. I did not see that coming! She explained that she really feels that he has been doing so well with her and she thinks that once a week would be ample now. Understand, this is a woman that works for herself, and therefore makes money by the client, by the session. So she is losing a straight $85 a week by doing this. Which means that she really, truly feels this way about his not needing her twice a week anymore. She said that as years pass, and school work changes, he may need her twice a week again for things like understanding word problems, etc. But that will all come later, and may not even be an issue. Time will tell. But for now - after two very long and very, very costly years of Speech twice a week, we are dropping to once a week. That is huge. And what a great accomplishment for our little man!!!!

So this was a million dollar day. We are so proud of Zach. And we are so happy for all of us. Two and a half years ago, we didn't know if he'd ever speak sentences. We saw no clear skies in the future. We feared the worse and wanted to have a crystal ball so desperately to be able to know that it would get better. This is a first real, true glimpse into the future for us. And we all deserve it. And Zach has earned it!

Well, it ended up being strep. And it was awful, but after a week of misery, and a week of recovery and weirdness from him, we are back in the swing of things again! And I know I've blogged about it before... but I SWEAR that every time Zach gets a fever, about a week and a half later he has a language BOOM! And this was no exception. His Speech Therapist today was floored by how attentive he was and said that he was answering many of her questions before she has even finished asking them. Awesome!

We had a good Thanksgiving at the lake with my parents and Matt's Mom. Zach just loves his family and it's so great as each passing month goes by to see how much he is growing and developing relationships and just understanding of everything. He is super pumped for Christmas this year and already has a list for Santa. Fortunately Santa has obtained everything on his list for him too. :-) He "gets it" like never before. He knows that he will get presents on "number 25" from looking at his calendar. He knows that he gets to meet Santa this weekend and will ask him for his list of toys. He knew that riding the Priscilla the Pink Pig train at Lenox this year (as in years past) is the start of Christmas. He knows that the gifts under the tree aren't for him, so he's not opening them! That's major! His knowledge and curiosity are now so much fun, and it's just great for us as parents to finally be experiencing these things with him that we really should have been able to do last year. Everything is just so much more fun now that it doesn't all feel forced.

I really could go on and on about how well he's doing. So many great conversational spurts. Good reports from everyone involved with him. And he's even reading a bit. AND, and this is huge, he did some crafting with me last night. Huh? He did? Yep! This kid who has yet to even merely color in a coloring book in my presence actually sat down with me last night and decorated a Christmas Tree cut out. His teacher sent it home for us to decorate and send back, and I instantly dreaded it. Any type of art in the past just doesn't interest him. And it's not a boy thing. It's a lack of understanding what in the world he is doing it for, as well as a lack of attention span. But last night he sat willingly and happily used glittery paint tubes to color all over the tree. And didn't get up half way through. And I didn't have to force him by doing hand-over-hand as in the past with any crafting attempt. To many of you reading this, this seems like no big deal. But to our little man this was huge.

I found out that we have our Kindergarten transition meeting in March. That will be probably the biggest meeting I've even sat through. We will determine his plan for his Kindergarten year: will he need a parapro's help? If so, when throughout the day would he need this extra help? Will he still attend a special ed class as well as the typical class? What other support, if any, do we see him needing? And on and on. Very stressful. We will be trying our best to have him set up for success. And it's all a guessing game. But thankfully if it's not working, we can always change it. As a parent though, it's an emotional struggle. Truthfully, we don't want ANY services for our son, as we want him to be totally fine on his own in a typical environment. We so badly want the special needs title dropped. But he's just not there yet, so we have to put our wants and emotional needs aside and get services in place, because above everything - we want him to do well. And for it to be a positive experience. So this is a big meeting!!!

But first, Christmas!!! Tons of cool things ahead: visiting Santa, starting our advent calendars, Christmas sheets and pj's, making a gingerbread house, looking at lights, and telling Zach that it's not "number 25" yet each morning when he wakes up and comes right down to the tree to see if his presents are there yet :-) FUN!

Things that make me very, very mad - and sad

I need to vent.

I was just searching through ebay looking for some add on parts for Zach's Mr. Potato Head toy when I ran across something that has totally set me off. Some pea brained idiot seller on ebay has decided to use a disability to help him/her sell some toys. I just can't believe that people can stoop so low. The title of the auction is: "Mr. Potatohead Valentines - Special Needs - Autism" Now anyone familiar with ebay knows that the more descriptive words that you put in your title, the more likely you are to get your auction seen. So in other words, if someone is searching for "Autism" they will see this a-hole's auction, because he/she chose to MARKET a DISABILITY. This is one of the most insensitive things I do believe that I've ever seen. I started to send an email to this person flaming them, but then decided that I would get nothing out of that. How he/she thinks that a freakin' Mr. Potato Head toy, a TOY that every child plays with whether autistic or not, pertains directly or even indirectly to autism is beyond me! Then he/she wrote in the description - "Your child will have hours of fun while working on their fine motor and speech skills." Okay, I get that. And that's fine. She didn't USE a disability there. She just said basically that this can help your kid out. Fine. It's just the use of a disability in the title to help her sell an item not directly related to autism that kills me. Kills me! That's like an auction titled "Clothes pins in all colors - great for autism". How is it the same? Well, autistic kids can learn their colors by watching Mom hang the laundry with these clothes pins. See... stupid!!! SO... all this being said, I am very saddened and even more so raging mad that someone would choose to peddle their crap by belittling a true human disability. Shame.

The other thing making me mad today, and very sad as well, is trying to figure out what is wrong with my boy. He is sick. And any parent of a 4.8 year old should be able to figure out what is wrong (at least a starting point) with their child by asking a few simple questions: Where does it hurt? What hurts? And so on. But that is not the case for us. Zach will not tell us. And sometimes we're not sure that he knows how, or even realizes that if he does tell us then we can help him. Perhaps he thinks it's wrong to feel bad and doesn't want to be in trouble. Or perhaps it's because his tolerance for pain is so very high (as it is strangely enough with most special needs kids) that he just deals with it. So we go in speech circles with him trying to pry out even the littlest bit of information that will help us to help him. And then we battle to get any medicine in him. That may sound common of other kids, but I assure you that it's different. With other kids if they don't listen to your instruction immediately, you can make them. With Zach we can't do that. By "making him" (aka threatening spanking or time out, etc) we're not totally sure that he even understands why he's getting the punishment at all. The fear is that he is just thinking we are being mean to him and doesn't understand why. Because he doesn't understand that we'd be trying to help him with the medicine. And another fear is that he doesn't even understand what sick is and that he is sick in the first place. Very, very frustrating. And sad. And tiring. So I've made a doctor's appointment, and that's all I can do.

Okay, venting complete :-)

A Happy October Indeed

October was a great month! Zachary was so excited about being Buzz Lightyear and going trick-or-treating this year! It was truly the first holiday of his 4 1/2 years that he really and truly "got it" and looked forward to it. It was so much fun reliving all the fun of our own Halloween pasts and seeing the joy in his eyes too! We had a neighborhood parade and fall festival, a trip to the pumpkin patch, a play group costume party, a fall festival at school, and then of course the big night itself. Busy, busy!

Zach's social skills are really in bloom right now. He is a different kid around other kids than he is around us. It's like he comes alive when he has someone to play with. So very cool. While he's still a pain in the arse around us, at least he is loving his friends and teachers. He has a new friend at school, a cute little girl named Emily. I chatted with Emily's Mom, letting her in on Zach's autism, etc. And I told her how heart warming it is to me to see Zach playing with and wanting to be around other children these days, and how great it is for him to learn from, etc. She said that she knows for sure that the feeling is mutual with Emily, as her daughter is very obvious about it if she doesn't like another child. So that was just icing on the cake as far as I'm concerned. It would be great in and of itself if Zach just liked and wanted to be with other kids. But it's FAR, FAR better when he is also liked and wanted for a play friend by that same child. Reciprocity is definitely a good thing in the making of friendships :-)

His speech continues to improve. We have many conversations now. It's not just quick one sentence answers anymore. He is learning the letter blends (like S+H = the shhhh sound) which will lead him to reading soon. His speech therapist and school teacher have both told me that they think he'll be reading by the end of the year. Smart kiddo.

We're still doing well in the potty area, and haven't had many set backs, thankfully. He seems to be coming "alive" more and more every day. There is still a bit of stimming (jumping up and down, flapping, etc) if he's very excited, or very tired. I just think that's going to stick with him for a long time though. It's kind of a release of sorts I think since he can't quite verbalize everything he needs to. And that's fine. I think over time it will become more subtle, like let's say pulling on an ear or something, once he realizes that it does look odd to jump in place or flap his arms. Unfortunately, that lesson will be learned most likely from the other kids teasing him. And oh my how that's a whole heartache waiting to happen for mommy and daddy. We'll hope he sticks with the pretty girls at school like he's been doing, and they will stick up for him until he's able to for himself :-) Emotions are not something he gets at all right now. So that's a big worry too. Long road ahead for sure as kids get older and meaner.

So now we're done with Halloween and Zach's already saying "it's time for santa now, not later". Which just means that we are going to have a long two months :-) But a FUN two months, as once again, this will be another holiday that he "gets" this year. It's so much more fun for us when holiday's and traditions and rituals are not forced on him.